


Innuendos

by conceptstage



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: F/F, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-09
Updated: 2018-11-09
Packaged: 2019-08-21 06:58:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16571837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/conceptstage/pseuds/conceptstage
Summary: Beau just doesn't have any luck with the ladies. Molly thinks he knows what her problem is and tries to help. Caleb is also there.





	Innuendos

Beau frowned at her reflection in her ale, swirling her mug around tiredly. “You know,” she said suddenly. Caleb looked up from his book and Molly looked away from the coin he’d been spinning with his fingers on the tavern table. Everyone else had wandered off at some point in the evening and Beau didn’t have the energy to figure out where they were. She looked over at the well muscled blonde woman standing at the bar, flirting with an equally strong man who honestly wasn’t that good looking in the first place. She’d turned Beau down brutally not even ten minutes ago. “She’s not even my type.”

“Yes she is,” her two friends said, looking back down at their respective activities.

“No, nuh uh, she’s too short.”

Molly chuckled. “The only way she could be more your type is if she were named Yasha.”

“Her eyes, they’re just too big and pretty for me, really, I can do better.”

Caleb sighed and put his book down. “Okay, clearly I won’t be able to get any reading done until this is settled. Beau, she wasn’t interested in you. That’s not your fault, that’s not her fault, that’s just the way it is. Look she’s hitting it off with that large man there, just let her be happy and now you can be happy.”

“Why’d she go for that dude though? Guys aren’t so great. Caleb you’re a guy, right? You kind of suck.” Caleb didn’t even seem offended, he just shrugged as Beau continued. “What’s he got that I don’t have?”

Molly raised an eyebrow. “Do you really want the answer to that?”

“You know what I meant,” she said, holding out her hand to stop him from continuing, the corner of her lip curled up in a snarl. 

Molly chuckled and poured the remains of his ale into her mug. She hummed appreciatively and downed it, wiping her lips with the back of her hand when she’d finished it all. He watched her with a raised eyebrow. “What’s really your problem with this?” he asked. “You’ve been turned down a lot and you usually just shrug it off. What is it about her that’s got you in a twist?”

She refused to look at him, choosing instead to stare into her empty mug. “Well, it’s not about her, I guess. I just… You’re right. I  _ have _ been turned down a lot. Not just tonight, not just the last few months I’ve spent with you all. It’s been happening my whole life. I guess I just want to know why? What’s wrong with me?”

Caleb caught Molly’s eyes and grimaced, silently asking his purple friend if she actually wanted an answer or if she was being rhetorical. Molly nodded at him and pursed his lips. “Beau,” he said. “I can tell you why you’re not cleaning up with the ladies.”

Beau snorted but refused to look up from her fingers. “You? You want to give me dating advice? You’re only two years old.”

“And I’ve gotten more action in those two years than you have since you first started.”

She kicked him under the table. “Asshole.” But she didn’t argue.

“You’re trying too hard. You come on too strong. People like to be chased, yes, but they also like to chase. Give her a little taste and then back off. It’s important that you don’t lie, you don’t trick her. You just give her a chance to decide if she likes what you’re offering and if she does she’ll chase after you when you pull away.”

Beau stared at him and picked at her chapped lips idly. “And that works? You just… pretend you don’t care if she likes you or not?”

Molly sighed. “Well, that’s a close enough summary, I guess. It’ll take some practice, particularly because you’re not exactly the best at keeping your emotions from showing on your face.” He leaned forward then, snapping his fingers to get her attention when her gaze wandered back over to the woman who’d turned her down. “Now, that’s just for casual stuff. One night stands. If you want something long term and meaningful, this method is the exact opposite of what you want to do.”

Beau shook her head. “I’m not looking for that kind of stuff. Not right now, at least. I just want to have fun.”

Molly nodded, like that was the answer he’d expected. “Then you know what to do.”

Beau bit her lip and started looking around the bar. She spotted a half elf woman about her age sitting at a table in the corner. She was tuning a lute, she must have been part of the band that was going to play later in the night. “Okay,” she said, getting to her feet. “I’m just gonna… be cool.”

Molly was grinned as he waved her away. “Well, we can only hope. Have fun.”

He and Caleb sat in silence for a few minutes after that, the wizard eventually reopening his book. “Out of curiosity,” Caleb started. “What would one do if they were interested in something long term and meaningful?”

“Well, there can be no pretending, for one thing. If Beau were interested in someone she’d have to be her real honest self and hope they liked what they saw. In a long term romantic relationship, they should foremost be friends.” He rested his arm on the back of Caleb’s chair and leaned to read over his shoulder. “Basically what she’s been doing. Why do you ask? Looking for love, Mr. Caleb?”

Caleb blushed slightly and pulled the book closer to his face. “ _ Nein _ , no. I was just wondering what your answer would be.”

Whatever Molly was about to say was cut off when Beau dropped back into her chair and crossed her arms, making a face that Molly would probably consider a pout if she didn’t also look so damn pissed. “What?” he asked, leaning his forehead casually on Caleb’s shoulder with his arm still over the back of the chair. “It didn’t work?”

“No, it  _ was  _ working but then she asked why my eye was twitching and I told her it was because I was trying to keep from saying an innuendo about tuning her lute. She got mad at me.” She glared at them both but she honestly didn’t blame them when they started laughing at her.


End file.
